Exhausted.

Physically and emotionally. Thank you so much for all your support and prayers for me this week. I definitely needed it, and still do. It was so hard! Monday wasn't too bad because I only had to work until noon. Tuesday, however, was awful. As soon as I was done nursing her and set her down in her bouncer, I started crying and I think I cried until I left work. And then to top that off, the girl who was supposed to be watching Harper for me called me Tuesday evening and backed out. So now I have to find a daycare in a hurry. Anyone have any suggestions for daycare in Fort Worth?? I've looked at La Petite Academy and I guess that is where she is going to go unless I find something I like better. So anyway - Mom keeps telling me that this is harder on me and that I am the only one suffering this much. That makes me feel a little better but I still wish I was the one with her during the day because I feel like I am going to miss so much! I am going to continue to pray that God opens a door for us and I can stay home one of these days. I do like my job and the people I work with, I just love my baby more! I REALLY don't want to take her to daycare.

You can have all the strength that God has to give.

My mom has this hanging over her kitchen window, and I keep saying it to myself. I am going to need every ounce of strength that He can give me, because I go back to work Monday. I am in physical pain. Cherie is coming to watch Harper Monday through Wednesday, and my mom will have her on Thursday and Friday. I asked Cherie to come and help me for the first week because honestly, I don't think I could leave Harper. This will help make my transition a little easier. A little. I don't know how I am going to get out the door or how I am going to make it through work. I was not prepared for this. I was never one of those people who said that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mommy. But now this precious baby is in our lives and it is ripping my heart out to leave her. Physical pain. So please, please pray for me.

2 Month Check-up

Today Harper had her 2 month check-up. I was dreading this appointment because I knew she was going to be given lots of shots, so Justin came with me for support! I gave her tylenol before we left to ease some of her pain, but most of it came out of her mouth. She got her shots and started crying of course and I was holding her hands and talking to her and crying as well and Justin was behind me rubbing my back and telling Harper and I it was okay. How sad are we?! She stopped crying a couple of minutes later and was asleep before we left the doctor's office. I think it hurt me worse than it did Harper! She got 4 shots and 1 oral vaccine. She is 23 1/2 inches long (90th percentile) and is 11 pounds 10 ounces (40th percentile). She is long and skinny! The doctor also told me that she needs to be sleeping in her crib now (ummm, yeah, okay) and that I need to let her cry so she can learn to sleep on her own. She hasn't heard my child cry obviously. I really don't know how that is going to be accomplished! She'll lay in her crib and watch her mobile, but after about the 3rd or 4th time of winding it up, she's done and wants to be picked up.

As for the bottle situation - she still won't take one. Justin, my mom, and I have all tried, but that girl knows what she wants and it isn't a bottle! I spoke to a lactation consultant and she suggested I try a medicine cup. I did order a special (expensive) bottle that resembles a breast more than anything else, so I am going to try that and pray that she likes it. Otherwise, it is going to be a medicine cup or dropper, and I feel sorry for her nanny!

She had some tummy time this morning. She is holding her head up so well!

2 Months Old

Harper is 2 months old today! I cannot believe it. We have her 2 month check-up next Monday, and I am anxious to see how big she is getting. Even though I am with her everyday I can see she is growing, and she is growing out of a lot of her newborn outfits. That makes me so sad! I know a growing baby is a good thing:), but I still want her to fit in her tiny clothes! She still isn't sleeping regularly, and she is definitely not eating on a schedule. Only when she wants! As far as bottles go, still only 2 in over 2 weeks. I go back to work on the 21st, and I am hoping she starts liking bottles before then. Here are a few recent pics, and I will post more when I have them.

She found her thumb one day and went back to sleep! I keep trying to get her to do it again, but she hasn't yet.

In her fourth of July outfit Aunt Brittny gave her. So cute!

I finally caught a cute smile!