Exhausted.

Physically and emotionally. Thank you so much for all your support and prayers for me this week. I definitely needed it, and still do. It was so hard! Monday wasn't too bad because I only had to work until noon. Tuesday, however, was awful. As soon as I was done nursing her and set her down in her bouncer, I started crying and I think I cried until I left work. And then to top that off, the girl who was supposed to be watching Harper for me called me Tuesday evening and backed out. So now I have to find a daycare in a hurry. Anyone have any suggestions for daycare in Fort Worth?? I've looked at La Petite Academy and I guess that is where she is going to go unless I find something I like better. So anyway - Mom keeps telling me that this is harder on me and that I am the only one suffering this much. That makes me feel a little better but I still wish I was the one with her during the day because I feel like I am going to miss so much! I am going to continue to pray that God opens a door for us and I can stay home one of these days. I do like my job and the people I work with, I just love my baby more! I REALLY don't want to take her to daycare.

You can have all the strength that God has to give.

My mom has this hanging over her kitchen window, and I keep saying it to myself. I am going to need every ounce of strength that He can give me, because I go back to work Monday. I am in physical pain. Cherie is coming to watch Harper Monday through Wednesday, and my mom will have her on Thursday and Friday. I asked Cherie to come and help me for the first week because honestly, I don't think I could leave Harper. This will help make my transition a little easier. A little. I don't know how I am going to get out the door or how I am going to make it through work. I was not prepared for this. I was never one of those people who said that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mommy. But now this precious baby is in our lives and it is ripping my heart out to leave her. Physical pain. So please, please pray for me.

2 Month Check-up

Today Harper had her 2 month check-up. I was dreading this appointment because I knew she was going to be given lots of shots, so Justin came with me for support! I gave her tylenol before we left to ease some of her pain, but most of it came out of her mouth. She got her shots and started crying of course and I was holding her hands and talking to her and crying as well and Justin was behind me rubbing my back and telling Harper and I it was okay. How sad are we?! She stopped crying a couple of minutes later and was asleep before we left the doctor's office. I think it hurt me worse than it did Harper! She got 4 shots and 1 oral vaccine. She is 23 1/2 inches long (90th percentile) and is 11 pounds 10 ounces (40th percentile). She is long and skinny! The doctor also told me that she needs to be sleeping in her crib now (ummm, yeah, okay) and that I need to let her cry so she can learn to sleep on her own. She hasn't heard my child cry obviously. I really don't know how that is going to be accomplished! She'll lay in her crib and watch her mobile, but after about the 3rd or 4th time of winding it up, she's done and wants to be picked up.

As for the bottle situation - she still won't take one. Justin, my mom, and I have all tried, but that girl knows what she wants and it isn't a bottle! I spoke to a lactation consultant and she suggested I try a medicine cup. I did order a special (expensive) bottle that resembles a breast more than anything else, so I am going to try that and pray that she likes it. Otherwise, it is going to be a medicine cup or dropper, and I feel sorry for her nanny!

She had some tummy time this morning. She is holding her head up so well!

2 Months Old

Harper is 2 months old today! I cannot believe it. We have her 2 month check-up next Monday, and I am anxious to see how big she is getting. Even though I am with her everyday I can see she is growing, and she is growing out of a lot of her newborn outfits. That makes me so sad! I know a growing baby is a good thing:), but I still want her to fit in her tiny clothes! She still isn't sleeping regularly, and she is definitely not eating on a schedule. Only when she wants! As far as bottles go, still only 2 in over 2 weeks. I go back to work on the 21st, and I am hoping she starts liking bottles before then. Here are a few recent pics, and I will post more when I have them.

She found her thumb one day and went back to sleep! I keep trying to get her to do it again, but she hasn't yet.

In her fourth of July outfit Aunt Brittny gave her. So cute!

I finally caught a cute smile!

Bottle Woes

So now I am trying to introduce the bottle to Harper since I do have to go back to work (boo) eventually (stretching that out for as long as possible). I didn't try the bottle until she was 6 weeks old, and I didn't know that I should have a couple of weeks before. She has only taken 2 bottles out of 5 or 6 that we have tried to give her, and this is very frustrating. I know I have to keep trying, but she is stubborn like her Mommy and Daddy, and she knows what she likes! Some days she gets angry and cries, and other days she just kind of plays with it but won't really latch on. Mom and Blair tell me to keep trying, and I will, but I am getting stressed! What if she absolutely won't?!

6 Weeks Old

Harper and Hayden are now both 6 weeks old! Harper will actually be 7 weeks old this week - the time has flown! I am going to have to go back to work in a couple of weeks and I am absolutely dreading it. Blair and I went home last weekend while we still have some time off. She goes back the same time I do and she is feeling the same way. We know we have to go but that doesn't make it any easier!

Harper is smiling so much now! I love it. She is the happiest right when she wakes up. She will smile at us and at other times it is at the couch or a candle or something we can't see. It is so funny! She is so much fun and we just love her so much!

Look at that adorable baby bottom!

I've started laying her down on her tummy after she falls asleep on me - she doesn't wake up as easily.

Blair and I went to get our hair done, so we left Mom with both babies. In the couple of hours we were gone, I think we called home about 3 times to check on them! So far, I think that is the longest we have been away from them, but then again, we are the food supply!

She is so cute when she sleeps with her mouth open :)

I know the picture is blurry, but we were trying to compare the sizes of their feet. Harper's is the longer one! She is going to be tall like her daddy, I just know it.

Harper looks so much like me at this age in this picture.

Blair came over last week, and since Harper hates the car seat, I left her at home with Hayden and Blair to run a few errands. When I got back, this is how I found them. Blair was walking them and they both fell asleep facing each other. How sweet!

Hayden sleeps so funny on his Mommy - he folds himself in half!

Pretty girl

5 Weeks Old!

Harper is now 5 weeks old - I can't believe it! She is smiling more and starting to "talk", and it is the sweetest sound. Quite different from the banshee scream that she has when she is mad (usually when she is in her car seat, which is why I hardly go anywhere). She had her one-month check-up yesterday. She weighs 10 pounds, 2 ounces, and is 23 inches long. The doctor thinks she was measured wrong in the hospital since she is so long! She is in the 95th percentile for her length and the 85th for her weight. She is doing great! I am dreading the next appointment though. She will get a bunch of vaccinations and I am going to be just as upset as she will be.

Looking at her Great-Granddaddy - she loves faces

Harper and Hayden

Mimi holding Harper - she had her foot in Mimi's pocket

Looking at her Papa

Hayden, the chunky monkey. He is 1month old!

Harper and Grandma

Blair wanted me to take a picture of her baby legs:) Blair and I had gone up to Mom's office to hang out and show off babies. At one point, I had to change Harper's diaper, so I laid her down on her pad on the floor. I took off her dirty diaper but she wasn't done, and she pooped on the carpet! It was really funny:)